Full Disclosure
by rifster
Summary: My first story, a Cory/Shawn slash. Shawn has a moment of clarity, incited by a dream, and knows that something has to be done. Anyway, I'm not good at summaries, but give it a try :
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first story, so please review! Constructive criticism please. PS, the second chapter will have more real plot development. It will probably also be longer than the first. (:**

**(I don't own anything, Boy Meets World, characters, blah-dy blah blah.)  
**

It was unseasonably cold, and the brightly colored plastic tunnel Shawn was laying in did little to keep out frigid nighttime air. Through small holes in the top of the tunnel, he could see out to the star-speckled sky. He remembered nights he had slept in this very same tunnel, in this very same park, numerous times throughout his adolescence. They weren't pleasant memories. If they were, they wouldn't involve sleeping in a park, would they?

But this time was different. Shawn wasn't angry, or upset. To be quite honest, he didn't know what he was feeling. He was mostly just trying to sort out his thoughts. He decided to begin with listing the facts, the unquestionable truths, and build off of that.

_I am Shawn Hunter_, he thought. _I am seventeen years old. I live in Philadelphia .It's really cold out here. I'm in a tunnel. And… and… And I talk to myself in my head like a mental patient. _

He sighed. _What am I doing here?_ He gripped his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the image of Cory that filled his head.

Lately, Shawn had been thinking about Cory too often. More so than usual, anyway. It was almost imperceptible at first, even to Shawn. He would sit behind Cory in class, and get distracted by him; looking at his hair, wondering what he was thinking, studying the way his hands moved when he took notes. Eventually he would snap back to reality, shake his head, and assume he was just zoning out, like he always did in class. But slowly it became more and more clear to Shawn that he thought about Cory more than he should. Doing homework, in the shower, going to sleep, he couldn't seem to get him off his mind.

It was strange, seeing as how they had been friends for so long, but Shawn noticed himself feeling almost nervous when alone with Cory. Not so much nervous, as just… tense. Or awkward. It was a strange feeling, and he couldn't quite explain it.

It got worse as time passed. Shawn found himself worrying about his appearance when going somewhere with Cory, as if it were a date. He thought through what he was going to say before he said it, analyzing every sentence to make sure it sounded perfect. He had pushed all this to the back of his mind, trying to ignore it. He couldn't help it anyway, why bother trying to stop?

It had come far enough, though, that there was no ignoring it anymore. He had to stop lying to himself.

The night before (for it was technically early morning now), Shawn went to bed as usual. But he had barely gotten to sleep when he began dreaming about Cory. A dream about he and Cory together. They weren't speaking, but touching each other, on the chest and thighs and everywhere. Then they were kissing, and undressing, and laying down together. They made love, and it was like they were becoming one person, twisting and rolling, completely and perfectly in sync. Shawn woke up sweating and panting, with an erection. He wiped the sweat off his face, climbed out his bedroom window (something he had gotten quite good at over the years), and down the fire escape. That's how he ended up in the tunnel, in the park, in the middle of the night.

He thought about it for a few minutes. He remembered something Cory had said to him once, almost six years ago. _"I'll always have a window open for you, man."_ And maybe he was crazy, maybe he was just tired. But for whatever reason, Shawn decided he needed to go to Cory's house. He needed to see Cory.

He got all the way to his house too, all the way up the tree outside Cory's bedroom window, before he realized what he was about to do.

_ Shit. What am I doing here? What would I even say? What COULD I say?_

He turned around to climb back down, when he heard a window creak, and a groggy voice behind him.

"…Shawn? Shawnie? Is that you? What are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing."

Shawn froze. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he thought about dropping down and running, but it was too late now. He turned, and climbed into the bedroom.

Cory obviously slept in his underwear, because he stood near the open window shivering in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.

"Uh, h-hey Cor." Shawn looked around the room nervously, trying desperately not to look at Cory's exposed chest and legs. Or any part of him, for that matter.

"Shawn, what's wrong? Why are you here? Oh my god, Shawn, how long have you been out there, your hands are white, your lips are blue, come here!"

Before he had a chance to speak or object, Shawn was dragged to a sitting position at the foot of Cory's bed, and a blanket was wrapped around him.

"Jeez, Shawn, let me get something warm for you to wear."

"Uh, listen, Cor, there's nothing wrong. I need you to know that… Before you start worrying. I'm okay. Really."

Cory spoke from the dresser, with his back to Shawn.

"Then why are you here? It's the middle of the night. Did you miss me that much?" He meant it sarcastically, but Shawn laughed too hard. an awkward, nervous laugh. He realized he probably would have been better off making up a problem, then at least he would have an excuse for showing up at Cory's bedroom window at this hour.

"Hah! Miss you! Good one, Cor!" He desperately tried to think of something to say, anything, but there was nothing. Cory turned towards him.

"Then why are you here, Shawn?" He was serious this time, and looking directly at Shawn. He wanted an answer.

"Um, heh. You see… I was… Well, the thing is…" he looked at the floor, tapping his feet nervously. "You know, I should really leave." He got up from the bed and made a break for the window.

"NO, Shawn." Cory stepped in front of the window and put his hands on Shawn's shoulders to stop him in his path. "Tell me what's wrong. Why aren't you home? In bed?"

"Well, I, uh, just. I really… wanted to talk to you." That didn't sound TOO suspicious, did it? It didn't scream, "I just had a sex dream about you, and somewhere in my deranged mind, I had a fantasy that it might come true," did it? _Oh, god. Shit. Shit. Be cool, man! Shit. _Shawn panicked in his mind.

"About anything particular?" Cory wasn't suspicious, but he was still thoroughly confused.

"No, uh. Just. You know. cause you're my... friend. right? heh!" He put his arms out and forced a smile, like what he was doing was completely normal.

"Yeah, well. I know you well enough to know that you're holding something back, but it will obviously take work getting it out of you. I guess we'll just deal with that in the morning." He tossed Shawn a pair of flannel lounge pants and a sweatshirt.

_Oh. he wants me to put these on. right. I need to change. ...He wants me to change! _Now that Shawn had come clean to himself about his feelings for Cory, his mind held nothing back. Wild fantasies flashed through his mind at the thought of being alone, half-naked, with Cory, even though it had happened many times before. Suddenly, Shawn realized he had been staring blankly at Cory.

"Oh, um." He fumbled with the zipper on his jeans and slid them off, his legs still covered in goose-flesh from the cold. He pulled his shirt off over his head, and quickly reached for the fresh clothes, not daring to look in Cory's direction.

In his haste to get inside the pants, his foot caught on the waistband, causing him to trip. He hit the ground, hard.

"Jeez, Shawn, something's got you really jumpy tonight." He reached out a hand to help Shawn to his feet.

_Goddamnit, Shawn, pull it together! Take his hand, stand up, and put your pants on for Christ's sake! BE. COOL._

Cory pulled Shawn up, but Shawn didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet.

"The pants fit alright?" Cory was calm, and collected, a sharp contrast to Shawn's behavior.

"Uh, yeah, they're good, just fine." Shawn was forced to look Cory in the eye for the first time that night. He felt a slight stirring in his pants, cursed in his mind, and suddenly wished the pants were a few sizes looser.

"Good. well. I'm not letting you walk home tonight, so you might as well make yourself comfortable." Cory yawned, and gestured to his bed. _his _bed. _The_ bed. The only bed in the room.

The full realization of the bed situation hit Shawn just as Cory laid back down on the left side of the bed and pulled the covers up.

"Oh. Your bed? make myself comfortable... in your bed? I mean, no, of course not, the floor. obviously. I'll just go on the floor." He crouched and draped his damp blanket across the hardwood floor.

"No, I meant the bed. You don't think there's enough room? It's plenty big. I'll move over." Cory scooted over, but only slightly. "Oh. Oh. I should put pants on. Sorry. I get it. Do you want me to put pants on?" He propped himself up to look at Shawn, but didn't make a move to get up.  
"No. I mean, yes. Of course. Um, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to. Not to say that I DON'T want you to wear pants, I just-"

"Good." Cory flopped back down and rolled over, away from Shawn. "Once you warm up, Shawn, you can take that sweatshirt off. You don't have to sleep in it," he said, without turning back around.

Shawn ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. _Just breath, Shawnie, breath. In and out. _He pulled the sweatshirt off over his head and held it, but he didn't move. After a minute or two, Cory twisted his head around to look at Shawn.

"You coming to bed? Or you gonna stay up?"

With nothing covering his bare chest, Shawn suddenly felt very exposed.

"Oh, um, yeah. I'm coming. I'll go to bed." He hurried to get under the covers, as far away from Cory as he could without falling off the bed.

Cory reached out, turned off the lamp, and didn't say another word. His breathing soon became rhythmic and calm.

Shawn, on the other hand, had never been more awake. _I am in a bed, with Cory, alone. Okay, just relax. It's happened before, right? We had sleepovers as kids. Not in a while, but still. And there were usually sleeping bags involved. Oh god. breath! _It was dark, but he could see the silhouette of Cory under the blanket, his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. He could picture him, close enough to touch, bare chested, in nothing but his underwear. The thought made his lower extremities begin to stir some more. He couldn't move, he could barely breath, for fear of waking Cory. Or himself, for that matter, seeing as this was probably some elaborate dream anyway.

Cory turned in his sleep, and his foot brushed Shawn's calf. It was only a small touch, a gentle graze, but it made Shawn freeze, and his heart pounded in his chest. Cory settled back into sleep, and eventually Shawn relaxed, if only slightly. Clearly, sleep would be impossible.

**What did you think of chapter one? let me know(:**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was going to have two parts to chapter two, but the first part was done and I really wanted to put it up, so here you go, even if it's short. I'll hopefully get part two up soon enough(:**

School the next day was torturous to Shawn. The magic of the previous night had worn off and all that was left was a feeling of regret and a desperate need to avoid Cory as much as possible. He found himself sitting in a bathroom stall, alone with his thoughts.

_STUPID, stupid, what was I thinking?_ He put his face in his hands and let out a muffled cry of frustration. If it had been hard for Shawn to hold a normal conversation with Cory before, now it would be downright impossible. Cory would demand an explanation for last night, and it wasn't as if Shawn would be able to keep up the front he had been putting out anyway. He would either crack, or not talk to Cory for the rest of his life. He needed to formulate a plan; he needed to make a move. The hard part would be deciding what move to make.

Shawn sighed. _This is it. It's all coming together. This could either end our friendship, or be the best decision of my life. Better make it a good one, Shawn._ _Think!_ He opened the stall door and began pacing in the empty bathroom. It being the bathroom in the old science wing and all, no one ever really used it, and it provided a perfect place for Shawn to rehearse.

"Okay, listen Cory, I've been feeling a lot differently lately... " He shook his head. "Um.. Cor, I really don't want to jeopardize our friendship here, but... no..." He ran his hands through his hair and began talking at a wall, imagining, instead, Cory standing in front of him.

"Cory, I need to talk to you about something. It's kind of important. " Suddenly, words flowed out of Shawn effortlessly. "You see, the reason I came to your house last night... the reason I've been acting so weird lately, is... well, I don't really know how to say this, but... I see something in you now. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it's not friendship, and it's unlike anything I've ever felt for a girl before. It's... more. It's better. I just need you to understand, that I... well, I don't want to jump right into this or anything, but I've known you for a long time, and.. um, I... think I love you, Cor." His eyes widened. He hadn't dared even to say that in his own mind, let alone out loud. It was shocking, but... in a way, kind of refreshing. Now that he had said it out loud, he felt a bit of a weight lifted off of his chest.

"Oh god, I could never say that to Cory. I'm surprised I even said that to myself." He laughed, slightly. it was easy to talk when he was alone. It felt better to say things out loud.

"It might have been easier than you think." A voice behind Shawn, emotionless. Shawn whipped around to see Cory, standing in the doorway, his expression blank.

"C-Cory..." Shawn stammered, too shocked for words. "You..."

"Yeah, I've, uh. I've been standing here... looks like the whole time." Cory backed away, pushed the door open, and as it swung shut Shawn saw him turn and run down the empty hallway.

XXX

Instead of going to school the next day, Shawn opted to lay in his bed all day, staring at the ceiling. He remembered the day he met Cory, there in the zoo, and wondered if there was a way to fix this.

_Obviously not, obviously I've ruined everything. _He rolled over onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow.

XXX

It was nearly midnight when there was a loud crash outside Shawn's window, and it slid open to reveal a disheveled Cory, who all but fell into the room, panting and clutching at his chest.

"I give you credit, Shawn, I never realized how hard it was to climb in a window."

Shawn stood up. "Cory, it's a fire escape. There are stairs."

"Yes, but there happens to be a very mean-spirited cat who lives on those stairs, and he nearly drew blood!" Cory stated, gesturing to a scratch on his forearm. Shawn laughed, and for a second, it was almost as if nothing had happened. Almost.

Cory dropped the smile, though, and the mood slipped effortlessly from casual and friendly to tense and awkward.

"Um, listen, Shawn, about what you said yesterday. In the bathroom."

Shawn stared at the floor. There was nothing he could say.

"I just want to say that I... I... I want to reconsider. I could, um, give it a chance. You know, what you said."

Shawn looked up. Was he serious? "You... what?"

"Yeah. I was a little taken off guard at first, to say the least, but I've given it a little thought and I, um, well, it would just take a little getting used to, you know? But I could try it. I don't want to lose you forever, Shawn."

There was a silence for what seemed like an eternity, and finally Shawn stepped forward. Without any thought whatsoever, he embraced Cory, held him close and rested his head on his shoulder.

Cory's whole body stiffened noticeably, and he didn't move. But after a minute he relaxed, and wrapped his arms around Shawn.

Shawn could have stayed in that hug for the rest of his life, but soon Cory broke the silence.

"I should Go. But I'll see you tomorrow, alright Shawn?" he whispered almost directly into Shawn's ear.

"Yeah. Ok. I'll see you then, Cor," Shawn said, disappointed. Cory climbed out the window and disappeared down the fire escape, and Shawn shut the window behind him.

After almost a half an hour of staring out the window, Shawn turned off the light and laid down. He smiled into the dark, rolled over, and went to sleep.

**REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY(:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I meant to put this up a while ago. but. then my computer crashed. Yippee. So, yeah... sorry about that. enjoy anyway. let me know what you think. **

Walking to school the next day, Shawn tried to be happy. Not to say he WASN'T happy, because he was. But he wasn't AS happy as he thought he should have been. He couldn't help worrying that this would all fall apart, and he would be left with less than before. Nothing. He replayed the previous night over and over in his head, trying to remember the tone of Cory's voice, or his facial expressions, anything. Did he really want this? Could he do it? Or was he just trying to hold on to his and Shawn's friendship?

Friendship. The word tasted bitter in Shawn's mouth. He wanted to be Cory's friend, of course, but it wasn't enough anymore. Saying that he was Cory's friend felt like rejection, and he hated it. Friends, buddies, pals; so casual. He didn't want that. He wanted more.

_Guess there's nothing to do now wait and see. _

xxx

A tap on his shoulder brought Shawn back into reality. He had been staring blankly into his open locker for several minutes. Lately, he found it hard NOT to lose himself in thought.

"Shawn? Hey, Shawn... you there?" The sound of Cory's voice caused Shawn to start.

"Oh, hey, Cory!" He turned around tried to look pleased, but his stomach sank and his mind immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. _Oh my god, I knew it. This is it. He hates me. He can't do this. He's leaving._

"What do you say we grab a burger at Chubby's after school? We could use a talk." Cory seemed calm, which was probably a good sign.

"Um, sure. Sounds... good. yeah." Shawn nodded. _"we could use a talk?" What? fuck. _

"Alright. great. See you then, I guess." Shawn didn't say anything, and Cory left him there, staring.

_Shit. I really am terrible at this. I clearly don't know the meaning of "act natural." _

He grabbed his books, slammed his locker, and went to class.

xxx

Shawn and Cory sat at opposite sides of a booth, a basket of fries and two burgers between them. Shawn's burger was untouched. After a few minutes of small talk, there was a break in the conversation, and Shawn took a breath.

"Alright, Cory, I think it's time you told me why we're here. I mean, there has to be something."

"What...?" Cory looked at Shawn blankly.

"Don't beat around the bush, Cory, I know you have something to say to me, so just say it!"

"Shawn, what are you talking about? Can't we just get a burger together?"

Shawn looked at Cory suspiciously, and didn't say anything.

"Shawn! What is your problem? I thought this was what you wanted!" Cory threw the fry he had been holding back into the basket and squinted. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yes, I.. yeah. I just. I want _you_ to want it." Shawn looked down.

"Shawn, I do," Cory replied in a gentler tone. "I do want to do this. And I'm sorry if I don't seem it. I just need to get used to it. After all this time, you can't jump right into something like this. But I do." He put his hand on top of Shawn's, causing him to look up, and they made eye contact. "Trust me."

They stared at each other, not breaking eye contact, and Shawn leaned towards Cory slightly, almost imperceptibly. Cory stood up.

"I'm gonna go get more fries." He left, and just like that, it was gone. Shawn threw his head against the back of the booth and bit his lip.

_It's a start._

xxx

A week later, there they were, back in Cory's bedroom. Two notable changes from the last time Shawn and Cory were in the room together: Cory was dressed, and Shawn was fully capable of speaking in coherent sentences. Actually, he had made dramatic progress in the art of Acting Natural in the last seven days. Apparently, he had come to terms with the situation. Although he couldn't help but feel disappointed with how uneventful the past week had been.

There was also something else different in the room, much harder to place a finger on, something less concrete. More so, a change in the atmosphere. An awareness that wasn't there before. An unspoken understanding between the two that made the whole situation so much more comfortable.

They had intended studying for a history test together, but nothing was getting done. Cory sat at his desk, and Shawn in the window seat. Cory quizzed him, but Shawn found it hard to focus at the task at hand.

"...Um... Charlemagne? 1812? ...no?"

Cory sighed. "No. Sorry. The answer would be the Industrial Revolution."

"That was my third choice, I swear."

Cory turned around to face him. "You realize we're going to fail this test, right? We know nothing."

"Well, what made you think this test would be any different than all the others?" Shawn tossed a crumpled paper at the garbage can across the room, missed, and swore.

"I don't know. I was just thinking, how hard can it be to get an A? Maybe if we just studied a little, we could ace this test."

Shawn raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, I scared _myself _there for a second." Cory ripped a piece of paper from his notebook, crumpled it, and let it fly. It bounced off the closet door and landed squarely in the trash can. "Backboard. Beat that."

Shawn took another shot, missed by a foot. "Sheesh. I've lost the touch." He felt something hit the back of his head, and turned around to see a crumpled ball at his feet, and Cory grinning.

"Whoops. I guess I missed." Cory shrugged and smiled.

Shawn smiled, and to him, it was the perfect moment. Another one of those snapshots he could live in for the rest of his life, together with Cory. He reached for another sheet to retaliate, but Cory interrupted him.

"Shawn?" His expression was more serious now, and extremely hard to read.

"...Yeah, Cor?"

"Thanks."

"...Thanks?"

"Yeah. thanks." Shawn looked at him blankly. "Thanks for showing me... this. I don't think I ever would have found it on my own."

After a few seconds of silence, Shawn stood up. He didn't mean to, he just did. He didn't mean to go forward, either. He was on autopilot. But Cory didn't say anything as he approached, and he didn't say anything as he bent at the waist, drawing closer and closer to Cory's face. He was silent as their lips touched. It was Shawn who jerked back on contact, eyes widened.

_Holy shit._

A pause. Silence. Eventually, Cory spoke.

"So. Uh. Yeah. Thanks."

"Yeah, Definitely."

"Yup."

Another silence. More awkward this time. Again it was Cory to break it, this time by leaning forward abruptly, pressing his lips against Shawn's. He stood up, not breaking contact, and put his hand against the back of Shawn's head. He pulled back. They made eye contact, and no words were needed. Lips together again, eyes closed, hand through hair. It was automatic, as if this had been programmed into Cory's brain at birth, like instinct. No thought.

Shawn put his hand on Cory's back, and parted his lips slightly, nothing more; an invitation. Without hesitation, Cory's tongue brushed against Shawn's upper lip, and entered. Again he ran his hand through Shawn's hair, and pushed his tongue in farther. He placed one hand against Shawn's chest and pushed forward, backing him up against a wall. It was as if someone else had taken over his body, possessed him and turned him into something more daring, more bold than he could ever dream to be.

Finally, after what could have been years, Shawn broke the kiss, along with the trance they were in.

"I thought you wanted to take things real slow?" He looked into Cory's eyes, and smirked.

"Well, clearly..." Cory paused, searching for words. "Clearly, I know nothing."


End file.
